Friday, 14 November 2014

Today's Food for thought: Courage.

Somewhat of a spare of the moment post today as the little picture above helped me to come to terms with something I couldn't quite word properly myself. Sometimes we have to be brave.  Sometimes that bravery doesn't come with an applause, a pat on the back or even a consolation prize.  Sometimes the bravest acts are the ones that go unspoken, and those I think are the hardest ones to do.

Recently I had to come to a realization.  A realization that came to late and cost me a lot of kindness.  Whoever said kindness costs nothing clearly at that time had underestimated the true value of friendship and how it feels when you give a lot away only to realize that you are not truly valued and that kindness is taken for granted.

Without being to specific I want to talk about a situation that happened to me the other night that mainly revolves around the theme of friendship.  We can love our friends as much as we love our family, but the truth is friends come and go, and a friend who you may once have considered to be the crown jewel in your collection over time can become nothing more than junk.  Sometimes you don't see it happening and sometime you are in denial.  Overtime situations change, people grow up at different rates and that causes the closest of friends to drift apart.

For me that realization came a little too soon, and in the form of a facebook message.  I'm being vague here I know, but a long time ago a gave a friend an honour, an honour which now I realise wasn't respected.  Within that deal of course was the agreement that when the time came the favour would be returned, and of course written in that message was the admittance that in fact, the time had come but my friend had chosen with all apologies not to return to me those honours.  Naturally I was hurt.  I cried for about 3 hours, and then I made a decision.  I messaged my friend back and told her that was fine.  It wasn't fine at all but at this point I realised that telling her how I felt wouldn't change a thing.

The thing about the whole situation that upset me the most wasn't the fact that I was missing out on this promise I had been made but it was the fact that gesture proved something I had suspected for a while.  My friendship had devalued.  As we get older friend groups break apart, it's just something we have to prepared for but for me the hardest part was realising, and accepting that I was the first to go.  I was the least valuable person in my friend circle.

And In that realisation I had to made a choice, I realised this is a point in my life where I have to be brave.  I can't cry, ask questions or try to fix the gap with those friends because it won't change anything and will only leave people feeling bitter and defensive, so I chose to quietly accept that this is something that is happening and not cause a fuss.  Instead of focusing on the bad I choose look at the good.  I have made many new and loving friendships as I build my home and my empire and explore the world of becoming an adult.  I have a good friend circle with people who love me and value me and that's what matters right now.

Those old friends won't know the pain they cause and that's fine because sometimes in life you just have to get on with it.  There is no prize but in the end you feel better for it and things do work out.

❤ ❤ ❤

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